While chatting with some girlfriends, some young, some grandmothers, it was interesting to hear that all who had been through a divorce or bad relationship admit they had their doubts about the man from the start but didn’t heed them.
Even when family and friends express their doubts about a person, doubts which jive with your own, why is it we ignore them and continue on in a relationship which is destined to go sour?
Why do we doubt our doubts?
Is it because we don’t want to be alone if we let the guy go? Is it because we don’t want to admit we were wrong about a person? Do we think he will change or believe his promises to change? Is it because he’s so good looking? Does he fulfill an emotional need? Do we like being needed?
Whatever the doubts, the important thing is to STOP and LISTEN to them. Doubts help, not hinder. When you later find out some harrowing truth about the guy, isn’t it a relief to have heeded those doubts and be able to say, “Thank God I got out of that one!” rather than, “I wish I would have listened to my doubts.”
By not listening to our doubts, many of us are still forced to deal with ex-spouses and ex-boyfriends, stalkers (on and offline), child support and custody battles, financial problems and safety issues . . . the list goes on. Life is harder, grief is greater and regrets are abundant, all because we ignored our doubts.
Let’s stop ignoring and doubting and start playing it smart. There is NO DOUBT that life will be easier, grief less, and regrets fewer when we do.